Losing a loved one at any point is a challenge.
Losing a parent with whom an individual had a tremendous love & connection,
and owe a World of gratitude for development, is life changing.
To say I have lost all motivation for forward progress would be an understatement.
To grasp the full scope of this transition, I have slowed way down to focus on my heart.
What is in a life?
What determines success?
Is it the weight of a bank account?
The plaque on ones desk?
The piter pater sound of feet ambling down the hall...
What if someone has none of that?
What then?
I've been going inside a lot lately. The practice of meditation has been helpful.
When I get to a place of quiet stillness, I find some peace. I honor the larger picture in a way I don't care to see during my waking life. I'm just to tired. Too worn down.
If the zombies came now to take us over, I don't think I'd run. Perhaps I'd close my eyes & surrender.
"Keep on Keeping' on, and I'm gonna rest."
Grief is a beautiful thing. For me it has put me right in alignment with my one true breath.
That's it. The difference between the finite and the infinite.
I go to the garden. I tend to my plants. My fruits, my vegetables. I turn the compost. I watch spoiled produce get another life, process & turn into nutrient rich soil. I haven't been real active on social media. I'm too numb to relish in the surface. There's not too much to celebrate.
It's different for everybody. But I only know my way.
I am a product of my environment. And I recognize this World goes too fast for some.
I never thought she'd leave. I remember telling my brother before I flew out, June 3.
"Not now, not like this"
Well apparently...
Exactly now, and precisely this.
This is what we get.
I'm not looking to solve anything. I merely have the ability to recognize exactly where I am.
And it's not like Joe, or Bob, or Jim, or Gina. That's the thing. We are all individuals. With a very strong thru line.
One day we are here, breathing this beautiful breath, without a thought, or prompting. We breath in, we breath out. And one day it will stop.
"It's a crazy World we live in Master Jack"
What a beautiful gift.
Video: c/o Marco Polo app
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