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Life is the SH!t

Updated: May 28, 2021

Maggie sits in the driver seat, unbuckles the belt, sweating.

Slams her hands on the steering wheel

"Come on people!! You have got to be kidding me."

Shooting a glance over her shoulder, without fear or hesitation,

She puts her right blinker on, & slowly crawls into the lane with no space.

Sign ahead reads, Nearest exit 3/4 miles.

Deadlock.

The car behind her slams on their horn.

"Like thats gonna stop me"

Ducking, Maggie mildly apologetically waves as if that will be enough to make it all go away.

"I know. I know! I’m sorry. I’m the Asshole."

Steadily, Slowly inching forward. No one goes anywhere. She blows a hair out of her eye, And sinks further into wet hot seat.

Her radio now goes to static, sound, car, loud, noise, all around her.

Finally a clearing, Maggie peels off the 5 onto Stadium Way,

With a little bit of room now, she powers on.

A clearing just ahead, she presses on the gas pedal.

Gas Tank Empty light begins to flash.

She ignores it, forges on.

Flying past Barnsdall park now,

She passes friends laughing, people walking dogs, lovers holding hands.

Maggie thinks to herself. "Must be nice"

Turning onto her street, she whips around the corner.

Screeches to a halt.

Hands up "Shit! My bads"

A man in his motorized wheelcahair crosses in the bike path.

"Makes sense to me"

Once he clears, she looks both ways,

Rips out again.

Finally. Pulls into the parking Lot.

Round floor One car park,

2nd floor car park,

3rd. Slams into the spot.

Turns off the engine, throws on her emrgency break.

"Because why not." She irks to herself "Been one of those days"

Grabs her one bag, two bag, reaches to the passenger seat floor, can't reach her water bottle,

"Fuck it" Keys check, Hands full, check.

Hops out of the car. Already lost her keys. Running to the elevator, digging in her pockets. Hits the elevator button, once, twice, ... 6 more times, shifts her bag higher on her shoulder. Rumbles for her keys. Beeps her car closed, Elevator door slides open. Her neighbor Fancy Pants slowly steps out. Cool as a cucmber dressed to the nines, green golfer pants, caramel brown laced dockers, navy socks, a sport coat, and charcoal grey fedora. He doesn't have a cane, but if he did, he'd be twirling it, whistling. Hands free, he tips his cap towards her. She muscles a faint weary smile.

"Hello" he oozes.

"Excuse me" she says barging in hands full,

Hitting the button of her destination, tapping the door closed button, Tap Tap Tap.

The doors slide closed. Finally.

Maggie thinks to himself,

"Did he just sing that?"

Shaking it off, she continues the juggling.

Snark to herself.

"‘Sccuse me... No no no, pardon me , blah,. blah....blahhh"

Still sweating. Up to the 6th floor, she runs off the elevator, thru one door, next door, In the hallway, Home stretch.

Maintenance man wheeling large cleaning slop mop bowl, past the wet floor sign she slides,

Ice hockey, skating, May be on her bucket list.

"Hello Miss" sweet maintenance man waves her way, Nothing but smiles these days.

"Hiya, Hello, Have a good day." she shoots trailing over back behind her. Gotta gooooo

Under her breath "Love your work"

He doesn’t hear, headphones on.

Keys still in hand, she gets to her door,

It’s unlocked!! "Miracle."

"For the love of God" One thing going for her.

"Finally!"

Running in, Dumping full hands on kitchen table, Piled high, of projects, and things to do. Nothing crossed off her list.

Running down the hall pushing past the baby gate, gets to bathroom door....It’s Locked.

"FuuuuuuUUUUUUUUCK!"

Turning back down hallway, Theres no stopping now, mind made up, she gets to kitchen.

In front of tall standing metal sturdy custom wood garbage can, takes a deep breath turns her back towards it,

....She unzips her pants,

..........Hops on the trash can,

Sits down, unsteady, but certain,

This is what has to happen.

Eyes wide shut....

Silence,

Peace,

Sweet Sweet, Relief.

She made it.

Sort of.

Home now.

A twinge a joy,

A slice of

Sadness,

Two things can be true,

Simultaneous.

Head in hands.

Shame,

And sweat.

Pants to ankles,

She sits there,

A moment longer. Plop Poo Ooze- The deed is done.

Head hanging she hears the baby gate in the hallway,

Without looking up,

Troy stands before her,

He's in her robe,

Fresh from shower.

Chipper, never cleaner.

Unphased, he brushes his teeth standing there,

He discovers Maggie ass down seated atop the garbage bin,

And it's - as if, she's toasting a bagel, or pouring some juice,

He says, "I didn’t realize you'd be home."

Slowly, Silently Maggie nods. "I'm home"

Sliding off the trash can, she slowly pulls her pants back up,

Grabs one of her bags, drops her keys to the ground, brushes past him,

No salutations.

Straight to the bathroom.

The lingering of essential oils, of lavender & sage still burning in the steamed room, a homemade candle sits on the Bathtub. Maggie hucks her pants, and underwear into Bottom of the tub before draining it. Strips off her clothes.

Turns on the shower.

Leans against the wall,

Starts to cry.

Back in the kitchen,

The dog wakes from his bed. Stretches. Takes a stroll. Sniffles around.

Comes to a stop, raises his leg,

Pees

On Maggie's just destroyed garbage throan.

He smells it, and walks away.

The shower still running.

Maggie tries to wash away her sorrows.

It’s only Tuesday.





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