There are two things Linda Diane wanted in her life. To be Teacher, and to be a Mother. On all accounts, by crating these things for herself-in my eyes-she will always be a success.
I sometimes wonder how she knew even that this is what she wanted. She was a brilliant teacher. Students loved her. She opened their minds to wild possibilities, and reached them in a unique heightened manner that not many others had the gumption to explore. She loved being a teacher, and was damn good at it. High School, College, Middle School, Drama, Rhetoric, Communication, Audio Visual...you name it.
She was one of thee most talented people I have ever met. Wise beyond her years. Then almost on a dime she would flip to childlike wonderment, making me question if she had ever walked on this planer ever before.
She could've been, done, seen... anything...
And she wanted was...
To be a teacher,
To be a mother.
My mother...
There is no one else I could imagine ever being my mother. I am who I am, because of her. Not in spite-of her. Contrary to a few of the rag-tag years of my immaturity might have suggested. I have had my fair share of resentments, for whatever my story has been.
But the truth is.
I wish I never wasted one moment of taking her for granted. I hear her voice echoing in my head, "You'll understand when you're a mother" and now I'm at the precipice of never finding out. Reflecting now, that would be a huge disservice to never give her that honor.
Motherhood seems like this far away land to me. Something I knew I would always want, always do, be, but never really considered needing to put much effort into cultivating it. Family is the most important thing. I recognize that. Now more than ever. I just wonder how she knew at such a young age, that she wanted to be a mother. Then she took that leap.
She loved deeply, fiercely. To be in her circle was to feel that power. It moved, erupted like a volcano, then cooled with the Summers Breeze. I have that in me. I wonder where I got it from...
I'm curious to see what the next iteration of this legacy might be...
This note was found in a yellow folder I have of hers, in it, a stack of type written notes and poems. Based on her age at the time this was April 6, 2002
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