Bread Truck
Or Postal Van...
Really any will suffice.
Taking a look today
At my Five Year Plan,
Because that is what responsible people do.
And it includes a work vehicle.
Never really being one for planning,
Hasn't ever really gotten me in trouble,
But-
The World has changed.
My World has changed,
And if I keep doing things as I always have done them,
Perhaps I‘d find myself,
Living a life I've always lived,
Which is both equally comforting,
And limiting.
Lucky?
Maybe
*Light*
Ha!
Je ne sais Quoi...
Trust comes
Sometimes
Even in the darkest days,
Somewhere
An understanding.
Unable to lock it down
Nor have a need.
Would it work for the next guy over,
or Joan
Trying to pay her bills?
Probably,
Scratch that,
Absolutely Not.
But sometimes
What has worked,
For one,
Would
Actually
Disturb
Another
Some how,
Some way-
Definitely.
I still have
Bad days,
All the time,
Most days,
I don't like people...
Financially,
Not the most,
Securely Sound,
Not the type of gal with
A three- six month
Safety Net,
Or quest,
To find the guy with
A, "What If" Fund...
And to that I say ...
"Fuck It"
Life changes,
Quickly.
To the planners,
Worriers,
Preppers,
Chanters,
Anarchists,
Hindus,
Resisters...
How is that working out...
For YOU.
If it is,
I'm all for it.
Supportive and understanding,
To preachers
or the pushers,
Pacifists,
or
Punchers...
I'm not your Gal.
Find a lane,
And hold your line,
If that changes,
Jump tracks.
I support you.
I can't tell you how to live
Any more than you can understand why,
I do what I do,
So don't bother Me.
Do I like it,
When you litter,
Tell me to get my dog a wheel chair,
Or it's time to get back to work-
Because,
"We have the fifth Largest economy in the World"
...I can not fight you,
What does/How does
That serve
Me...
To fight your battles
With you,
In your ring,
Where you are so clearly the
Champion
I'm in my own swamp,
Leave me to it-
The water here is muddy,
And cool,
Where I feel the bottom,
And dig toes in.
It may someday clear,
To produce my
Lotus.
Perhaps.
...
My only plan for life?
1 year
5 year
Every Day,
Every Breath...
....
Continue,
To carry on,
Within-
Without,
Through,
In and around,
All the freaking
Weirdness.
Covid 19,
Thank God,
We skipped
16, 17, 18...
I guess-
There's always next Year??
Maybe.
Who knows.
Until then,
Perhaps it's time
For me,
To build-
Next Steps.
These are interesting lives
We choose.
I got to speak a lot of it to a beautiful woman named
'Dora Lee'
From our first interaction,
I didn't know...
Was she 80 ?,
or 100 and 80...
Timeless.
I remember thinking,
"What is this woman going to know of me?"
And over the course of six years,
Give or take a few,
"It turns out...
Everything,
Maybe?
Most things...
Certainly"
And I was alright with that.
We had wonderful conversations.
I was consistent,
Showing UP
Which has been at times,
A challenge-
For Me.
Dora Lee passed recently...
In all this craziness,
A person,
Another person,
Passed-
As we all do.
We are still in lockdown,
So who knows what I will do with my Tuesdays,
At our normal time,
Whatever that means.
But I've found,
I still talk to her,
To my mom,
To the people.
Somehow,
These conversations carry on,
Further still,
Without the need for scheduling appointments or devices.
A part of what I speak here,
Is a way to
Carry On,
Honor,
Remember.
Hold Dear,
A legacy of love
That has come before,
And been bestowed to me.
Eternally Grateful,
To all my teachers.
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