"...It's just a big whole in the ground." she said.
I was amazed at it's awesomeness.
Goes to show we weren't exactly alike.
This world, is great and wide and expansive.
I sit at the edge of the Grand Canyon, pondering the finality of life.
One fail swoop, a simple gust of wind, I reach for my hat, I slip on a stone,
And just like poof. I get dizzy, I take a step back. I sit alone in silence.
Driving her car cross country alone in the weeks following her grand exodus
was beautiful. Timely. Appropriate. Peaceful. I find grace in the finite.
The break between breaths, just before and just after the last, is the most beautiful. I saw it in my dog Marlow's eyes too as he stared his gentle soul into mine. I saw him there. Held his hand in touch with the divine. Then I saw him go. I've felt more in present in this last year with the truth, and the peace of all things. It's not quite a conversation I can have with most. In my experience I find people are afraid of sadness. But I seem to choose traversing an uncharted stoney trail skipping once to a place of relief, understanding, grace. I enjoy the process. It massages my soul. I have retreated into a silent stillness, as the world noisily churns by, having had moments of inspiration without attachments to the outcome. That is a beautiful revelation to me, a release of perfection into the knowing all-already is, allows a presence of mind to simply be. I am allowed to step into the now. I don't so much ache for the losses in my world, as I am hopeful for reprieve. Turning towards life's sun kissed beauty. I wish surrender for the saddened who continue to and have encountered loss; clarity in a connection to the divine, and an ability to welcome that relief. What is the timeline of prescribed (un)circumvented grief? There is no template. In this journey, I do not wish for surface placating anymore then casual small talk bores me. That is not the realm for me. Perhaps I stand alone. Awaiting life's next call for stillness...Still my mother's daughter. Her words have not escaped me.
ความคิดเห็น