Still at a loss.
Trying to accept the incredibly bizarre.
As I type on my computer with no e key.
I question if I ever actually said out loud,
"I quit“
all the things...
The things that did not make me happy,
the job that was unfulfilling,
the dreams that never came to pass.
I have lost the desire to push.
I wish I took the chance,
after I had an MRI for my knee last year,
thinking I may have to have surgery,
Momma offered,
”Come out here, and heal with me....”
I wish I had the opportunity.
Two weeks later
..she was gone.
Almost to the day, a year later,
I sit here in the imaging center
about to get my first mammogram
with the insurance she encouraged me to get.
I’m saddened by the loss.
The loss of the p[ossibility
to discuss woman things.
Health things.
Growing,
changing,
accepting things...
anything...
Is it real?
I never had to have surgery after all.
My mom is gone,
...and everything has changed.
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